Should I Go to the Wake and the Funeral?

Posted on November 4, 2019 by Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home under blog, funeral home
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funeral homes in Solvay, NY

When there is a funeral at funeral homes in Solvay, NY for someone you know, there may be a wake held as well for the deceased person. You may be wondering if you just need to go to one service or whether you should go to both services. Both wakes and funeral services are important parts of the funeral process.

So what is a wake? The original purpose of a wake, when people died at home and were kept at home until the time of burial, was to say prayers for and to stay awake to watch over the body until it could be buried. Friends and family would gather and comfort the bereaved. They would bring a lot food – and often alcohol – to turn the mourning into a feast.

That ancient tradition has all but disappeared. Today a wake is used interchangeably for a viewing or a visitation. The wake is a separate service from the funeral service. Although some people still hold the wake the night before the funeral service and burial the next day, most people opt to have the wake just before the funeral service, during the evening, so that as many people who aren’t working or in school can attend, and then have a graveside service and burial the next day.

The difference between a viewing and a visitation is simply whether the deceased’s casket is opened or closed during the wake. If the casket is closed, then the wake is called a visitation. If the casket is open, then the wake is called a visitation.

A wake is typically two hours during the early evening. It gives mourners an interactive opportunity to speak with the family, offer comfort and support, and to pay their respects in a personal way to the person who has died.

The funeral service is an organized non-interactive service that follows a general format of readings, eulogies, a sermon, and music. This service provides the collective experience of mourning for friends and family of the deceased.

If you knew the deceased well, or you know immediate family members of the deceased well, then you should attend both the wake and the funeral service out of respect for your close relationship with them.

If you are an acquaintance of the deceased or immediate family members of the deceased, you may opt to attend either the wake or the funeral service, but not both. Many people choose to attend the wake and not the funeral service in this case.

If you do attend the wake, be sure to come during the hours specified in the obituary. Showing up early to the wake will likely interrupt the family’s private time with the deceased before they have to compose themselves to greet mourners.

If you choose to stay for the funeral service after the wake, then as soon as you’ve paid your respects to the family and their deceased loved one, go find the next available seat in the back of the funeral parlor or sanctuary (seats should be filled from back to front and from inside the aisle to outside the aisle) and sit quietly until the funeral service begins.

For more information about wakes and funeral services at funeral homes in Solvay, NY, our compassionate and experienced team at Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home, Inc. is here to help you. You can visit our funeral home at 2601 Milton Ave., Solvay, NY 13209, or you can call us today at (315) 468-2431.

Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home

Serving families in Solvay, NY, the Greater Syracuse area, and all of Central New York for over 90 years, we are honored to have earned many awards for service excellence and customer satisfaction.

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