Remembering Mom
At funeral homes in Camillus, NY, one of the titles that some of the people who pass through there have is “Mom.” Losing your mom at any age is perhaps one of the hardest deaths we have to come to grips with. Daughters, especially if they were close to their moms, find this transition particularly difficult and they often wonder how to honor their moms on Mother’s Day.
While everyone around you is buzzing about their Mother’s Day plans with their moms, you’re reminded that you don’t have any anymore because your mom isn’t alive anymore. That can be sad and lonely.
Allow yourself to be sad about missing your mom. Crying is okay because it means you’re feeling the loss of your mom not being there. Crying is also healthy, because it shows we still care, no matter how much time has passed since our moms have died.
Visit the cemetery where your mom is buried – if you’re close by – and take flowers or a plant to put on her grave. Spend time there reflecting on the memories of your lives together and all the good times you shared while she was alive.
Put together a video of pictures of your mom with music that she loved or that reminds you of her. Play it in the background as you go about your day, stopping from time to time to look, to remember, to smile at the memories there.
Write a journal entry or blog about your mom. Some people journal using pen and paper and some people journal using an online blog. Pick one thing that you miss most about your mom, or one thing you love most about your mom, a favorite memory (or story), or something you wish you could tell her and write about it. Blogs, by the way, can be public or private (you can have a public blog, but make certain posts private, so you don’t necessarily have to share your blog about your mom with the whole world, unless you want to).
If your mom has sisters who are still living or you have an older friend who is like a mom or a grandma, take some time on Mother’s Day to spend with them. Not only will this give extra support all the way around, but it will create new memories for Mother’s Days in the future.
Write your mom a letter every Mother’s Day that updates her on your life since the last Mother’s Day. Don’t hold anything back. Talk about the triumphs, the failures, the adventures, and the feelings, even about her death and how much it has impacted you. Writing is a great way to get rid of some of the mental and emotional clutter that we gather sometimes because of sadness and life. Read each Mother’s Day letter from the year before as you start to compose your current Mother’s Day letter, because it can give you some useful feedback on progress, growth, and the changes in your life during the year.
If you have children or you have nieces and nephews, tell them stories about your mom and what you admired, appreciated, and loved about her. If they were young when she died or they didn’t her at all, make her a living part of their lives and pass her legacy on to them.
For information about grief resources at funeral homes in Camillus, NY, our compassionate and experienced team at Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home, Inc. is here to help. You can visit our funeral home at 2601 Milton Ave., Solvay, NY 13209, or you can call us today at (315) 468-2431.
