Food and Grief
Preplanning cremations is one of the cremation services offered in Solvay, NY. But even though you preplan your cremation – and you should – before you die, your family and friends will still grieve your loss when you’re gone.
It’s interesting to see how grief and food are closely associated in many cultures, and how natural it seems for people to give grieving families sustenance in the hours and days after a loved one dies.
It’s practical, though, if you think about it. If a family has been taking care of a terminally-ill loved one at home for several months or even years, in the last few weeks of their lives, as pre-active and active dying begin, eating is usually at the bottom of the to-do list.
Family members may grab a quick bite here or there or they may not eat at all for long periods of time. That’s the way death goes.
However, after a loved one dies, there are so many emotions and so many things that need to be done that preparing meals just seems like too much to handle. So people bring food to make sure that the grieving family is well-fed and doesn’t have to think about cooking or go through the – at that point in time – tremendous effort of cooking.
Although the recipes are different, as are the rituals, food is the universal language around the world to express support and offer comfort to grieving families who’ve lost loved ones.
One of the most interesting similarities is that grieving calls for hearty comfort food. In America, you can expect dishes like lasagna, macaroni and cheese, chicken and rice, spaghetti, and chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy to be part of the fare you receive when you are grieving.
In Jewish culture, where there are seven days of mourning after the death of a loved one (referred to as sitting shiva), the food that is delivered to the grieving family consists of things that don’t require a lot of preparation, including cakes, candy, bagels, nuts, and cookies.
In Italy, bread is traditionally given to families who have lost a loved one. While the origins of this tradition are unknown, in practical terms, bread is full of carbohydrates, which makes it a satisfying food choice, and because bread can feed a lot of people. Additionally, because Italians are primarily Roman Catholic, bread symbolizes a spiritual link between life and death.
After funerals in Italy, it is common for families and friends to gather for a large communal meal of many courses that lasts for several hours. This gives the mourners a chance to remember the loved one who died and to offer support to each other.
In Mexico, where communities gather for a nine-day mourning period (the novenario) when a community member dies, food is plentiful in the form of soups, tamales, and mole. Mole is a traditional Mexican sauce that is known for its rich and complex depth of flavor. The richness of a well-prepared mole is very comforting because its flavors symbolically wrap their arms around you.
In Italy and Mexico, as well, there are annual holidays, with food as a centerpiece, to remember loved ones who’ve died. All Soul’s Day (November 1 and 2) in Italy and Day of the Dead (October 31 to November 2) in Mexico are two examples.
Special sweets are typically made in Italy during All Soul’s Day, while celebrants in Mexico take special foods to the eat by the graves of their loved ones during Day of the Dead.
If you’d like to know more about cremation services in Solvay, NY, our compassionate and experienced team at Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home, Inc. is here to help.