Dealing with an Unexpected Death

Handling unexpected deaths is one the cremation services offered in Syracuse, NY. All of us know intellectually that one day we will die. However, we often think of death in such abstract terms that it never seems to be real to us until it happens.

Even when we have friends and loved ones who are elderly or terminally ill, we have a hard time dealing with the reality of their deaths. We can’t believe it, on some level, even though we know it’s true on another level. That’s part of the adjustment period of grief where we begin to accept that we’ve lost someone we love and they’re not coming back in this life.

But when we have loved ones and friends who die unexpectedly, dealing with the reality of that can be much more difficult.

You may have just seen your friend or loved one before they died, or you may have just talked with them. They were fine, and then they were gone. Whether your loved one or friend died in a tragic accident, from a sudden illness (such as COVID-19), or from an undetected health problem (such as an aneurysm or massive heart attack), trying to get a handle on their deaths can be quite difficult for you and everyone else who knew and loved them.

You’re going to have a hard time with their unexpected death. It’s a shock to your mind, to your emotions, and to your very soul. But there are some ways that you can help yourself deal with a loved one’s or friend’s unexpected death in a healthy way.

One of the most important things that you can do when you have a friend or loved one who dies unexpectedly is to gather your support system around you. That support system may include other family members, mutual friends, or clergy members whom you trust.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and let people know you need help. Too often our society tells us that we’re supposed to be independent and just put our heads down and plow straight through the toughest times we encounter in life alone. We can get so enmeshed in this idea that we don’t ask for help when we need it most.

It’s important to remember that asking for help gives your support network tangible ways to help you as well. And, if they were mutual friends of a friend who died unexpectedly or other family members of your loved one, they may need your support just as much as you need theirs.

The community of grief is easier to move through in an unexpected death than the solitude of grief where the unexpected death makes you feel utterly isolated and alone.

Another way to deal with the unexpected death of a friend or a loved one is to get grief counseling. Like any emotional upheaval we encounter, your grief is specific to you and the components and reasons for your grief are unique to you.

Grief counseling, therefore, is not a one-size-fits-all proposition.

Some people feel comfortable – and best – when they’re able to talk through their emotions with other people who are experiencing similar emotions. If this describes you, then you may find that joining a grief support group is a good option for you.

Some people don’t like to talk about their feelings openly. If this describes you, then one-on-one grief counseling may be the best option for you.

And, then, some people have to process their feelings internally to understand them. They may feel, at least in terms of talking about them, that they don’t have words for what they are feeling. If this describes you, then consider keeping a private journal or blog where you can write about what you can’t talk about to work through your grief.

If you’d like to know about cremation services in Syracuse, NY, our compassionate and experienced team at Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home, Inc. is here to help.