Communicating with Someone Who is Dying

Before cremation services offered in Geddes, NY, you may get the chance to spend time and talk with someone who is dying. That person may be an immediate family member or a close friend that you’ve shared a lot of your life with. But, in the face of imminent death, you may find yourself at a loss to know what to do or say to this person that you love.

First, simply be available. There are two aspects of being available.

One aspect of availability is being there physically. This can be more challenging while the COVID-19 pandemic is underway, especially in hospital or senior living facility settings where visiting in person is restricted or prohibited.

However, with technology, it is possible to be available virtually for your family member or friend in very meaningful ways.

The other aspect of being available is to be emotionally and mentally engaged with your family member or friend who is dying. This can be the most uncomfortable part of being available, because your family member or friend will want to talk about the things that are most pressing for them.

Some of these things may include their wishes, their hopes, and their desires for their families after they are gone. Your family member or friend may want to discuss their end of life wishes, including the type of cremation and memorial service they want after they die. Your family member may also want to talk about what dying feels like.

Often, at the end of life, people want to discuss painful events and memories in their lives. Associated with these are often feelings of sadness, regret, and even anger. This is an important part of the dying process, because it gives those who are dying an opportunity to make peace with their lives and give their last days a sense of closure and acceptance.

Even if these very sensitive subjects make you uncomfortable, this is an important part of communication with someone who is dying, because they need to be able to openly and freely discuss these things. You don’t even have to answer. You just have to listen and make sure your dying family member or friend knows that you have heard them.

Second, be respectful when you are visiting with a family member or close friend who is dying. Many times, at the end of life, dress may be practical, but it could be embarrassing to your family member or friend, who would not want themselves to be seen in such a vulnerable state.

Make sure that your visit is not unexpected. Contact those who are providing caregiving for your family member or close friend to schedule a visit, so that they have the opportunity to ensure the dignity of the dying when you actually do visit.

Next, as much as is possible in a COVID-19 world, establish intimacy with your dying family member or close friend. If you are visiting them in person, sit down so that you are eye level with them, and so that they can see your face. If appropriate, hold their hand or put your hand on their arms to establish a close connection with them through touch.

The most important part of communication with someone who is dying, though, is empathetic listening. Most of what someone who is dying says is a form of processing their lives. They are not looking for commentary or advice. Instead, they are looking for an empathetic ear to really hear them.

If you’d like to know about cremation services in Geddes, NY, our compassionate and experienced team at Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home, Inc. is here to help.