Caring for Yourself When a Loved One Dies

After cremation services in Solvay, NY, the full impact of the loss of your loved one will become apparent. Nothing will ever be the same as it was before your loved one died. Your entire future is uncertain without them. You are overwhelmed and are not even sure how to take the next step or what direction that step should be taken in.

All of this is overwhelming and it can seem, at times, as if it is all too much to bear. Your very soul is bearing the brunt of an all-out assault. It is essential to understand what you’re experiencing and how you can respond to take care of yourself.

The first prong of this assault is impotence. The powerlessness that comes with the death of someone you love is hard to deal with. Whether your loved one died from a terminal illness or died suddenly, not only could you not save them, but you didn’t have the power to keep them in this life with you.

The second prong of this assault is grief. Grief is all-encompassing, especially in the first year or so when you lose someone you love. Grief is hidden in pictures, in letters, in cards, even on scoresheets in a game you played together where they wrote their answers by hand. Grief is embedded in birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Grief is wrapped in their clothes hanging in the closet and filling dresser drawers. Grief is everywhere.

The third prong of this assault is loneliness. When you lose someone you love, you are left alone. While friends and other family members may be able to provide some support and comfort at times, at the end of the day, you’re alone without your loved one.

The fourth prong of this attack is mistrust. This may seem unexpected, but it is actually a normal response to losing someone you love because your foundation gets shaken. If your loved one was a spouse or a trusted confidante, then you may feel as though you have to be on guard with everyone else because you have nobody to turn to that you can rely on like you relied on your loved one.

The fifth prong of this attack is displacement. When your loved one dies, your own position in life changes. If you were a spouse, you no longer are a spouse. If you were a son or a daughter, you no longer have a parent. If you were a parent, you no longer have a child. This leaves you feeling like your life is nothing but loose ends, with no purpose or direction.

All of these assaults on your soul are normal when you lose someone you love. However, if you don’t recognize them and know how to take care of yourself, they can be very detrimental to your health and your future.

First, nourish your soul physically and mentally. Quality sleep, a good diet, and regular exercise (outside in nature is best) are the keys to nourishing your soul physically. You may find it hard to establish these three things in the early days after your loss but try to focus on them as soon as you can.

Second, nourish your soul spiritually and emotionally. Allot time each day to devotion and worship, including prayer and meditation that includes thankfulness for your loved one and thankfulness for what you have left.

If you’d like to learn about cremation services, our compassionate and experienced team at Bagozzi Twins Funeral Home, Inc. is here to help.